Becoming A Food Celebrity – Marty’s Internet Show (Season 1, Episode 5)

Becoming A Food Celebrity – Marty’s Internet Show (Season 1, Episode 5)


(ping pong balls bouncing) – [Narrator] Warning,
don’t do what Marty does. He is a professional
filmmaker / idiot man child. Here’s proof. – Yum. Right in the pan like that. (upbeat electronic music) ♫ Marty has an internet ♫ Marty has an internet ♫ Marty has a internet ♫ Marty has a internet ♫ Marty has a internet – $5.80 please drive through. – [Narrator] In the words of Marty, being a professional filmmaker
is a tough, tiresome gig and after a long day of filming, a bite to eat is definitely on his mind. Marty decides to treat
himself to that one thing that always satisfies his hunger: a McDonald’s McValue meal. After paying with his fancy
business card and collecting his well-folded bag, he heads back to his
house to enjoy his meal. But in the midst of this,
a discovery is made that leaves him completely unsatisfied. (spits) (spits) – [Narrator] This dissatisfaction,
rather than fueling anger towards McDonald’s, fuels Marty’s mission to teach the world how to make real food. This leads to the creation
of Marty’s own cooking show in an attempt to become a food celebrity. (soft music) – Hey guys, what’s up? It’s In the Kitchen with
Marty, and today we’re going to cook some meals that you,
yourself, can cook at home. So we’re gonna– (bowl clanking) So today we’re going to be
cooking a chicken stir fry. It’s one of my specialties. We’re gonna grab this full chicken here. Yum. Right in the pan like that. We cook a little bit. Cook it on a bit of a low temperature, not too hot. Now we got chicken here on a low heat. Now we’re going to cook
a bit of a saucy-sauce. So we got a bit of mayonnaise. A little bit of ketchup
there and whole lot of mayo. I’m a big fan of mayo. And we got a stick of butter
here, melted, 30 seconds. Did a good job there. So we’re gonna mix that all together now. Dollop of that ketchup and
get a bit of mayo there. See that texture there? That’s good shit. Now, mmm, big fan of mayo guys. So I’ll chuck this in. Gotta get that all in there. Actually, what I might do, I’m just gonna wash a bit of that off. Gloop, gloop, gloop. Gloop. Good shit there. This is my favourite part, the butter. See how it’s a bit melted but there’s a big chunk in there, too. See if we go nice and slow, aw yeah. Just nice and evenly disperse it in there. And you know what? Before I like to mix, I like to put a bit of salt
and pepper in there, too. (bang) Okay I’m not actually a big
fan of salt everybody, but I’m a big fan of pepper, guys. Get a lot of pepper in there. Wash a bit of pepper off the hands. You know it doesn’t
matter if your hands… I washed my hands…the other day so we’re all good with that. And now we’re gonna mix it all together. Got my nice whisk here that
I got from my local store. Now we’re gonna give it a bit of a whisk. Now that we’ve got our
good stuff in there, we’re gonna have a good
time here everybody. We’re gonna get it nice
and thick in there. That’s all right. Slide it back in there. (soft music) So before we got our chicken in here. It’s nice and cooked. Now got our sauce here, everybody. You know the one we cooked up before. Nice little saucy-sauce and we’re gonna tip it right over. Look at that that, everybody. Look at that. Mayonnaise, ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, we didn’t put
salt in there because I put pepper. You know, get that right in there. – [Narrator] Moments
after, a fire breaks out burning through the show’s budget. This leads to Marty having
to rethink his efforts. From here, he pivots from
teaching the world how to cook to teaching the world what to eat, starting his own food review show. (pop punk music) Hey guys, I’m Marty and
we’re rolling around looking for the best food we can find. This is…Review That Food! (car failing to start) (engine starts) – Hooplas. You know, I’ve never had some Hooplas. They’re some potato rings. (gagging) (microwave beeping) Shut up! Okay, um… The Hooplas: zero out of ten. Don’t get Hooplas. So got a bit of a roast meal here now. Carrots, potato, peas,
a bit of lamb there. (gagging) Okay, the first thing I noticed
is that it’s really hot. The texture of potatoes, you know, they’re not too soft,
they’re not too crunchy. The peas, you know they’re nice and mushy. I like my mushed peas. Get a bit of that mushing in. The lamb, it’s just two discs of lamb. I’m not gonna eat this. You know but the potatoes,
they looked all right. I’m gonna give a two out of ten. Okay, we got some mild
salsa for your Mexicans. Arriba, Arriba! You know, it says “dip your chip”. Got some chippies. We’re gonna have the dip of the chip. (microwave beeping) Shut up! 99% fat free. Okay, we got dip. When I have my chips and dip, I like to get a lot on my chip, ’cause you know, (mumbled) I love chips and dip. Mmm, you know this is pretty mild. It’s a pretty mild salsa. Okay, so, um… The mild is a bit more than mild than I thought it would be. I’m gonna give this one a five out of ten. I got some gyoz- I think it’s gyoza. If I look what’s in here, filling, cabbage, carrot, cheese, onion. my favourite: yeast extract. Let’s see how they taste. (gagging) No. (spits) Zero out of ten! Zero out of ten. Today, I got two Big Eats. One, holiday breakfast. Two, ravioli bolognese. So we’re gonna combine these two together, heat it up in my microwave back there and see what comes out. So this one’s a bit ravioli-ey. You know what they say, ravioli, ravioli… what is in… Yeah, anyway, the ravioli’s done. Now I’ll chuck that
holiday breakfast in there. Looks like a bit of sauce, a bit of snags, chopped up snags. Ooo, My favourite, beans. You know what they say, “Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat the more you toot.” Something like that. So I got my holiday breakfast here. I got my ravioli. I got ’em mixed into one and I’m gonna have a bit of a taste. Okay, so if you look through here again, nice and saucy. Got my ravioli in there. Got my beans. Got my chopped up snags. So I’ll have a big chomp on this one. (gagging) On second thought I don’t
think mixing them together were a good idea so… I’m gonna give it… three out of ten. You know, I was thinking
reviewing a meat pie or a chicken pie or an American Pie. But you know, I wanna do
something a little different. We got a bit of a veggie pie here. So you open her up. Mmm. Doesn’t that look puss-y. It looks… Okay I’m just gonna cover that up, I really don’t wanna look at that. First things first, like the lamb roast it’s a bit hot. You can’t just live life like that. You gotta just take
another big chomp into it. You know, I’ve always
been a little meaty boy but I don’t actually mind this pie. I think we’re just gonna
chomp in again, guys. No. Nope, nope, nope. (gagging) Okay, so now I got some drinks
here that I might taste. I got some pink lemonade. It’s got a bit of a pink flavour. A bit of a berry. A bit of an Ethan Bradberry. You know, I don’t know if
I like the pink lemonade. You know it’s a bit sweet for my liking. I’ve got this one here. I’ve also got the lime-splider flavour. Has a bit of a green flavour, too. I think I really like the lime-splider. I’ll give this one… I think I’ll give this
one an eight out of ten. The pink lemonade, I think
I’ll give it a three. Maybe a three and a half. A strong three and a half
because, you know what, I’ve been thinking a bit different lately, you know crazy Marty. I’m gonna mix this shit. I might mix it up again with a little bit of apple juice. (microwave beeping) Fuck up! You know, just a splash. Let’s chug right in. (gagging) (pop punk music) – [Narrator] Marty’s quest
to teach the internet about the world of food
back fires and what Marty himself claims is
“definitely food poisoning” and “definitely not his own fault. He decides that being
the host of a cooking show and reviewing food for
the public just isn’t for him, just wanting to enjoy food for what it is. (gagging) (bag rustling) – Gimme that. (upbeat music) It’s the moment of truth. Oh. (food orgasm noises) This is it! This is 10 out of 10! (ping pong ball bouncing)

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